Jeff Fine

For Couples

You’ve been doing life checking some of these boxes:

couple fighting
happy couple

But imagine a life where you check all these boxes instead:

This kind of relationship is possible for you.

How It Works

sad couple

When we work together, I’ll be looking for the patterns the two of you fall into.  

There are times when you experience intense emotions that cause you to get reactive with each other.  In these moments, partners start to interact in ways that repeat themselves.  The situation changes, but the pattern does not.  

For example, one partner might say, “I’ve been asking for you to do this for weeks!” and the other partner feels criticized, and responds by getting defensive or shutting down. This negative cycle repeats itself no matter what the specific issue is.

Over time, both partners can start to expect these reactions before anything is even said. This perpetuates high levels of anger, stress, and anxiety in your relationship.

There is hope. Change is absolutely possible.

Together, we will slow things down, look for specific triggers, then examine the feelings they bring up for each of you, the meaning you make of each other’s behavior, and the actions you tend to take.

I will help you move away from blame and finger pointing so you can join together to defeat the true enemy in your relationship – the negative cycle.

This will allow for the emergence of a new pattern of relating, the positive cycle. A pattern where you will begin to feel the connection and emotional safety you’ve been longing for.

happy and dancing couple

Real change

I have helped hundreds of couples transition to living in that second list.  If you want, you can join them. 

Certified

I’ve helped people get the relationships they want for 30 years.  I’m certified in Emotionally Focused Therapy and am a former board member for the New York Center for EFT.

Safe

Routine check-ins ensure the pace and intensity of our work is best suited to your needs.  

Relationships are as unique as the people in them, but I do hear some common concerns from people considering couples therapy:

Therapy is not about deciding who is right and who is wrong.  I do not take sides, and the goal isn’t to declare a winner.  Therapy is about each person exploring what they individually need, and working toward both of you getting it.  Envisioning how you want to feel, and creating a blueprint to getting there.  If you choose to do the work, you will both walk away feeling understood, heard, happier, and more connected.

We start wherever you are.  If you’re not comfortable right off the bat, that’s acceptable, because nothing is done without your permission. 

Imagine visiting a surgeon.  You tell the surgeon what has been happening.  They take a look, suggest a course of treatment, but only with your consent would they begin.  It is similar here.  We start with you telling me what you think is going on.  Then, only with your permission would we begin to work together to solve the problems you describe.

Together, we articulate where you are, and where you want to be, and we lay out a plan for getting there.  The goals are all yours, you’re simply getting expert help.  Most people feel relief when we create their blueprint together and say, “Yes, that is exactly what I need.”

I believe all discomfort deserves relief.  Whether you have a small challenge or a large one, you deserve to make conscious choices that create happiness and connection.  That is what we do together.

You can’t force someone to therapy, nor would I ever want you to try.  You can share a vision with them of what life would look like if you communicated better, though.  You are also welcome to see me alone.  Unlearning old communication styles, developing healthy assertiveness, and identifying what you need will always help.  Even if you have to do that alone for a time, you will find the tools immensely useful and immediately applicable.

Schedule a free consult with me, and we’ll see how we can work together.

If you’re ready to feel more secure and connected with your partner, schedule a free 15 minute call with me here.  

You can ask me anything you need to, and get a sense of whether I’m the right fit for you.  I look forward to listening.